LAUGH STOP

[liza81]

A Few Good Lawyers

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

[konsalik]

A guy is sitting outside a clinic on a bench and he is crying his heart out when another guy walks up to him and ask him what is wrong.

"I came here for a blood test and they cut my finger off!" the first guy reply.

The next moment the second guy starts to cry even more and when the first guy asks him why he is crying he responds: "I am here for a urine test!!"

[konsalik]

Sometimes you say something only to realise it came out all wrong. Like this one where the female news anchor person turned to the wheather forecaster the day after it was supposed to snow and asked him.

"So tell me Bob, where's the eight inches you promised me last night?"

[konsalik]

A couple invite colleagues over for dinner and said it is OK to bring their children with. During the meal the colleagues' three year old daughter keeps her eyes peeled on the host. So much so that he starts to feel uncomfortable and he asks the little girl what is wrong. To which she replies:"I want to see you drink like a fish."

[liza81]

Originally posted by konsalik
A guy is sitting outside a clinic on a bench and he is crying his heart out when another guy walks up to him and ask him what is wrong.

"I came here for a blood test and they cut my finger off!" the first guy reply.

The next moment the second guy starts to cry even more and when the first guy asks him why he is crying he responds: "I am here for a urine test!!"

tee hee, good one!

[konsalik]

Peter is sitting in the bar and had been drinking for a couple of hours when he told the barman that his girlfriend is sitting in the car all the time.

The barmen, wary of the cold went outside to see if the lady is OK. Once outside he notice that Johnny is in the car with Peter's girl and that the two of them are kissing.

He walks back into the bar and told Peter that he should go outside to see if his girlfriend is still OK. Peter gets up and stumble out. No sooner he stumbles back in, laughing.

When the barman asks him why he's laughing he giggles and say: "You know that Johnny? Well he's so drunk he thinks he's me."

[konsalik]

The little boy wants to know from his father what an engagement is.

"Well son, it's allmost like this. I buy you a bicycle for Christmas. Then roundabout October I give the bicycle to you and tells you that you are only allowed to play with bell untill Christmas."