LAUGH STOP

[liza81]

Q: how many honest, intelligent, caring ment in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A: both of them

Q: how can you keep a man from attacking you?
A: throw him the remote control

Q: what's the difference between a mand and a chimp?
A: One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching its bum, the other is a chimpanzee

Q: why does is take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: they never stop to ask directions

Q: What is the perfect man?
A: A gingerbread man - he's quite, he's sweet, and if he gives you crap you can bite his head off!

[liza81]

A WOMAN'S (REAL) PRAYER:

Now I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles
Please no bags
And please lift my butt
Before it sags.
Please no age spots
Please no gray
And as for my belly,
Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy
Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord
For all that you've done.


Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the
house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and
doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils
you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each
other.


Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we
don't get some support soon, People will think we're
nuts

[preciousola]

Hey Liza,

I think your post is getting the thread more conjested,.....well you a good gir some jaw cracking jokes.

Liza,see ya soon,am out here with my babe,........to chill around,hope to be back soon with more contribution on this thread.
You are nice.
Cheer!!!
OLA.

[doccy]

Hier is 'n kortetjie:

Twee vriende spreek af om by 'n rivier te gaan visvang. Die een kom vroeg-vroeg die oggend eerste daar en die ander een daag so 5 minute later op en skreeu al van ver af:
" Het jy al ingegooi? "
" Nee, antwoord hy, ek soek nog die glase "

[liza81]

Lol
pos asb. nog!

[liza81]

looking forward to your jokes preciousola! welcome to the site!

[deebee]

Just wanted to share a little discussion between me and my husband. I only have two "where" questions I usually ask my husband which are"Where are you going and Where have you been". He on the other hand couldn't find himself, unless I show him, asks too many per day. Where are my socks? Where is my pen? Where is my this, where is my that.
Well tonight after 7 "where" questions within 10 min. I told him he had maxed out on these questions and I would not be answering any more. The only questions he could ask had to begin with Who, What,Why,How and May. Trying to stun me he replies "Fine, may I have some(you know what) tonight. To which I responded "As long as you don't have to ask WHERE its located.

Hope no one is offended.